Breaking The Dress Code

Proof that with a little creativity you can make any post about the Twilight Series… Or… how to ignore Gator Football

So last night as the game progressed and the husbands became more and more engrossed in the football game.. not like it was the National Championship or anything  …the wives grew more and more ambivalent and looked for other amusements.

After the feature pieces aired on the quarterbacks it occurred to us (the wives) that Oklahoma’s Heisman winning quarterback Sam Bradford was way more what we had in mind when reading the Twilight Series than how Hollywood actually cast the character of Jacob and so we decided that since he had clearly reached the pinnacle of his college football career he should take over the role of Jacob. He’s got that perfect mix of little boy face but great big body which is going to be very essential to the plot of next next couple of movies because of the way Jacob ages/grows. Imagine that curly hair all grown out ladies!!

And after quite a bit of this the husbands got all disgruntled because

A. OMG are you people still talking about those damn Twilight books!
B. Will you all stop talking favorably about the other quarterback, clearly Tebow is the bomb and
C. Bradford’s a child and way to old for you ladies to be looking at that way …

At which we ladies laughed.

Then we informed them that no, that for once there was a new double standard that was working in our favor… we could lust after young quarterbacks and we were simply Cougars… sexy sleek cats full of danger and intrigue. However if they ooggled the little cheerleader girls they were still either perverts or having a mid-life crisis. Sad either way. So sorry.

Then there was this whole discussion about the difference in a Cougar and a MILF. In the end we decided it had something to do with who was the aggressor.

By this time the husband’s heads kind of exploded. Poof!

But in the end the Gators won. And I’m happy … for my husband because he loves them and I love him.

So congrats baby… you said I wasn’t being supportive last night but secretly I was. I just couldn’t bear to show it.

And Bradford would make a really good Jacob.

A Perfect Moment of Joy

FuzzyHead’s first pumpkin. It’s the first year we dared let her near Daddy and his extreme carving extravaganza.

Some Guy Keeps Following Me Around

So the kids have been at the grandparents now for a couple of days. (You can tell because I've been spending my time writing tons of awesome posts right - Not!)  .. anyway, in their absence .. a very strange thing has happened.

I've discovered there is this guy living in my house. And he's kind of cute and sweet, and he keeps following me everywhere. Internet, I think he likes me.

Yesterday I went shopping. Not the mad dash, only look for what you need shopping that you do with kids.  But that lazy I got nothing else to do wandering/shopping that you did before kids. To shops you don't normally go in. For things you didn't know you needed.

And here is the shocking part.

He went went with me. And willingly and cheerfully spent time in frou frou girly stores, and camera stores, and stationery stores... just following me around. Like he used to. Happy to tag along as long as there was a promise of cocktails periodically throughout the day. At several points we held hands.

Then later when we got home. I helped him with some yard work.

A strange thing happens without kids.

You start to revert to the behaviors that made you want to marry each other to start with. Things we forgot we did.

I know that when the kids return, this will all disappear again. But it's nice to know that it's not really gone. It's just tucked away like our good wedding linen, in the closet. And we can easily get it out again on special occasions. 

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I think I'm going to start a new category to document all the little things that I do around the Palace thinking it's going to brighten the Dr.'s day in some way and he just ends up fussing about it because in some way in some fashion I managed not to do it properly.

Exhibit #1: I am always being accused of only bringing home Chick Flicks in the NetFlix queue. (Which wouldn't be a problem if Mr-Anti-Internet would learn to log in and add a few things himself but noooo)  so I see that Cloverfield  is released. He's a big JJ Abrams fan, loved Alias, loves Lost... so I shoot it to top of the queue.

He is admittedly surprised when it comes. Gives me 2 brownie points.

Friday night I send him down the street to watch it while BeerGirl and I introduce the kids to E.T.

He comes home and declares it the worst movie he's ever seen, possibly the worst movie ever made. Thanks dear. Revokes my brownie points.

Grrrrrrr

If You Buy A Man A New TV...

... he will build you a new screen porch.

 

But then he wants a new blue-ray.

One of the many reasons I married the man

He has a beautiful brand new 52 inch high def  TV.

Little Bear is playing on it

 

While he watches golf in the guest room on the 10 year old 27 inch

Lord Help Us All

Wednesday night I sat and read my book while I watched the Doctor struggle to find and a buy the latest Rush Album on iTunes, then create a playlist and burn it to a CD. ('Cause he's not use for iPods)

It took him 2 and a half hours people!

I sat over here on my nice cozy couch and refused to help, cause let's face it most 6 year olds can buy a freaking song from iTunes these days. I just kept reminding him that the fact that I knew how to do it wasn't something that was imprinted on my DNA and that if he could graduate from med school I'm sure he could master downloading a few songs from iTunes.  He cursed and drank lots of scotch but he managed it finally. Yeah for him.

TWO And A HALF HOURS!

He went to bed exhausted from the effort.

To celebrate I went out Thursday night and bought him an iPhone. What do you think, did I over do it? Too much?

Yeah you wish your spouse was that mean to you huh?

I know lots of frying pan into the fire going on with that but here's the thing. His palm pilot was teetering on inoperable and I'm tired of dealing with it and he needs it for his prescription databases at work. There are online yummy Web 2.0 version he could use if he had a smartphone so I've been pushing him towards that.  But he doesn't take well to new things.

"You won't need a phone and a palm pilot honey.. you'll be lighting your load!"

His biggest hang-up was really the damn screen. He he's getting old - approaching 42, while I however am just barely 41 - and the whole my-arms-aren't-long-enough eye site thing is starting to kick into mister-I've-been-20/20-my-whole-life. And he's having a hard time adjusting to idea of glasses and half the time can't read a damn thing because of it.

Dude has more gray hair than anyone I know but thinks glasses are going to make him look old. <insert eye roll here>

So I got him the phone with the biggest and most readable screen and the rest well he'll probably never even use. Which is sad. But I will. Expect to get me when you call his cell phone on weekends.

Until then I'll have fun doing passive-aggressive things to make him learn how to use it like setting his ringtone to the "Alarm" which sounds like what you'd expect to hear at the pentagon right after they sense that China has just launched a nuclear attack - and then I call him when I know he's in rounds...

After he figures that one out I'll start texting him about picking up groceries on the way home from work, one item at a time.

Daddy Milestone

Friday brought us out first Daddy/Daughter dance. I think it's safe to say that she has not gotten more dancing out of her father than I ever have.

 

Somehow This Joke Never Gets Old..

As heard yesterday on the phone

Me: So Neighbor Lady's Mom got her diagnoses finally. It's [Insert scary health problem]

Dr: Oh that's tough.

Me: Yeah, so I was thinking maybe could print out some stuff at work and bring it home for her to read about it.

Dr: I can't get anything here (fancy university hospital) that she can't get on the internet.

Me: So what you're saying is that $200K later, all you really needed was a $500 laptop and some broadband?

Dr: Shut Up.

Why I put up with having a man in the house

Heard around the house yesterday after the Dr had FuzzyHead all to himself for the afternoon:

Him: "There is a lot of glitter on the floor in FuzzyHeads room, I got it cleaned up everywhere else but it still needs to be vacuumed in there."

Me: "Glitter?"

Him:"Yes, that pink princess dress is shedding glitter? It got everywhere"

Me: "Princess dress?"

Him: "Yes, we played princess dress up while you were gone today and the glitter got everywhere"